My father once taught me something profound that I didn’t take seriously until exactly what he warned me of happened.
My father once taught me something profound that I didn’t take seriously until exactly what he warned me of happened. He told me “son, your pockets are public property”. Never took that seriously till i got pickpocketed while in Venice. Someone swiped my wallet right out of my back pocket. And it was a thick manly wallet! I thought for sure Id feel that, but alas I didn’t.
After that trip my dad kept cracking jokes at my expense. Most of them were pretty funny but still bothered by the fact someone touched my butt, and I essentially paid them for it. This incident got me thinking of how men today have a true problem that is easily fixed, but traditional masculine guidelines prohibit some of the best solutions.
In this post Im going to go through some solutions for the public pocket conundrum many men face everyday.
1) The fanny pack
God how much society hates the fanny pack. It’s one of those items that despite how functional it may be, its hated and despised the world over. Suited for the overly enthusiastic southern football fan, to the many varieties of walmart shoppers the world round.
There is no way to wear a fanny pack and look cool. Now functionality wise, it’s a decent fix. A pack strapped to your waist right in front of you. Good luck to any pickpocketer who thinks to themselves “yeah, i can get in there”. I sincerely doubt that any self respecting thief would actually think this, in fact I’m sure they might think there is nothing to valuable in there anyway.
2) The briefcase
Ah, nothing says distinguished and profesional than a slick leather briefcase. The working mans carry option. A large container that can hold anything from your wallet, phone files laptop.
Heck I’ve seen guys pack their greasy lunch bags in there, but still look damn slick even though there was half a BLT leaking in there. Yes the briefcase is timeless, but not theft proof. After all, the briefcase is hand held. And unless you’re planning on handcuffing yourself to it everytime, there’s a good chance a thief might make off with your briefcase.
Well of course the classic turtle shells would be on here. They’re not particularly safe always, and aren’t very easy to match with a suit, but I’ll be damned if they can’t carry anything and the kitchen sink in them. But unless you’re wearing it on your chest like a stoned tourist on his first trip to Amsterdam, you’re not all that safe.
4) The man bag
Yes gentlemen, I know what you might be thinking “a purse? Ew no!” But hear me out before you go tinker with your motorcycle and wash your face in whiskey. The man bag has changed from its early days of being a feminine european mens purse.
They’re rugged, practical options for carrying around everything you need in a day, and even stuff you don’t need.
I once met a guy that carried a set of wrenches in his just in case he found a loose bolt. Of course, he’s not allowed on public transport anymore, but that’s a different story. Now a very important thing to keep in mind is that mens bags are not all made equal, some are quite like a purse, I’ll admit, and some are just terrible designed and not safe or secure at all.
Although they come in a gaggle of different shapes, sizes, colours and materials the safest and best looking one I recommend and personally use now is a body hugging, holster style sling bag called the Baggizmo. No, they haven’t paid me to say any of this, but man have they made a heck of a bag.
It’s a slim little thing with more space inside than you’d expect. Even filled to the brim, it stays nice and slim and sits flush with my torso. Good luck to any thief trying to get to my wallet now, they’d have to buy me dinner first.
Best part is, it’s got pockets designed for everything I carry in a day and is so easy to put on and take off with this cool little buckle, I wear it underneath my jackets and hoodies almost always. So gentlemen, the man bag is no longer girly its safe, cool and practical..provided you get one that isn’t girly, but hey who am i to judge.
So gents, lets face it, that bulging back pocket of yours is not safe, sexy or sustainable. Everyman is different, be he a die hard sports fan, new york executive or a wilderness taming mountain man, don’t let society say you can rock a murse, or a backpack with a suit (which I do not condone, but to each his own), every man should feel safe while out in the world and sure that no one will grab their wallet out of their pocket! Hopefully some of you have found these solutions applicable to you and you now no longer consider your pockets as private property.